"In everything, consider the end." -French Proverb

chapter one              molecule

IT SEEMED THAT EVERY TIME I STEPPED OUTSIDE, a crow flew over my head. Intelligent, nasty little demons of misgiving disguised in a rut of black feathers. Many cultures warn that the crow is a soothsayer, an omen of demise, and even associate it with the Goddess of death.  Appropriately, a group of them is called a “murder”. 

It didn’t matter what I was doing at the moment.  Where I was going.  Whether I was taking out the garbage or answering the friendly wave of a neighbor.  The crows were always there.  Waiting on my roof or in a treetop, their charcoal wingspans stretching out in delight at the sight of me. 

That should’ve been my first clue that tabs were being kept on my number.  Death’s little black helpers were keeping a constant surveillance on me, just waiting to strike.

But, in the end, I managed to mentally work past the crows.  They were only secondary to the problem.  It was the cancer that killed me.

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And so begins chapter one of my new book, The Secondary Crow.  I will be including pieces of the book with every post just to give you a flavor of what to expect.  The book has not been published yet-- I will keep you posted on milestones--but I hope it's out there soon! 

For those of you who haven't read the short synopsis of the book on my website (thesecondarycrow.com--it's not much of a site yet, but will be soon), the book isn't actually about crows.  In reality, I know very little about birds in general.  But, there is one thing that I know a lot about, which is why I chose to write about them.

Ghosts.

My main character, Gerilee Sayer, is a young woman who dies of cancer.  She's expecting to ascend into a heaven filled with golden gates and angels, but instead finds herself stuck in a state of paranormal anxiety.  The entire book is told from her perspective, aka through the eyes of a ghost.  Have you ever imagined what the world would look and be like from a ghost's perspective?  I have.  A lot, actually. 

I wont lie-- I will be using this site to promote my books, BUT, even more so I want to use it as a discussion board.  Why?  Because until recently, I was living in a paranormal dark corner.  By that, I mean I was too hesitant to share my paranormal experiences with anyone because I really had no desire to be one of those "weirdos".   Who isn't told as a child that ghosts don't exist?  So isn't it natural for us as humans to think there is something wrong with us when we, as individuals, have experiences that tell us otherwise?

Needless to say, I've come out of my dark corner and embrace who I am.  There is nothing wrong with believing in ghosts.  Trust me.  75% of Americans believe in the paranormal.  Half of those people believe that they have had a paranormal experience.   I am not alone, and neither are you. 

The Secondary Crow has been a life-changing outlet for me.  Living in a world where ghosts are the norm requires some sort of "handle" to keep you grounded.  Luckily, I found one through writing.  (Others aren't always so lucky--but that is a discussion for another day.)  One day a few years ago I finally decided to quit fighting it.  So what if I was one of "those people" who had some sort of connection with the afterlife?  I had a choice to either continue going to bed terrified every night, or I could open myself up to it, educate myself, and embrace it.  I chose the latter.  And what a wise choice it was. 

Allowing yourself to recognize and believe in what you are experiencing is the first step.  The best way to do this?  Talk to others who can sympathize with you, who know first hand that your experiences are legitimate.  Tell your stories!  (I LOVE hearing other people's stories!  And I hope you'll share them with me!  I'd love to incorporate some of them into future books!)  You'll be amazed at how widely your mind will open when you share your experiences and hear others' stories.  It doesn't take long to begin to tap into the psychology of ghosts, as weird as that may sound.  In other words, it won't take long for you to not be scared anymore.  (At least, not all the time.  I've had a few "visitors" that have scared the hell out of me, and rightly so.)  There are so many types of spirits out there.  In the book, I cover quite a few different kinds, even though some only briefly.    (Side note: most of the ghost encounters Geri experiences in the book are based on my own paranormal experiences.) 

Along with posting bits of the book and keeping you updated on availability and also the status of upcoming books, I will be sharing my paranormal experiences, old and new.  For those who don't believe, please enjoy them as an entertaining read, and enjoy the book, also.  (My goal isn't to convince you that ghosts exist-- my goal is to entertain you and also get your mind in motion.)  For those who do, please view them as educational and insightful.  Again, please share your own stories and insight!  I look forward to this!